You know that feeling when you start making changes to your life and it’s just kind of like you are floating in some limbo? You haven’t gotten any reassurance from the Universe that you just changed your life for the better? Yeah. I feel you.
Or maybe you are more familiar with feeling like change needs to happen, but you are so gripped with fear of the unknown that you can’t move your feet. I know that one, too.
I understand how it can feel to start imagining a life outside of your current routine. I am acutely aware of the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are about to step out of your comfort zone. I have felt the sweat on my palms, I have tasted the adrenaline in my mouth, I have experienced the loss of sound, tunneling vision. All of the things that come with living life as an introvert or as someone with social anxiety. Let’s just be clear – we weren’t raised in a lifetime where we learned how to be social IN REAL LIFE.
And I know the fear of failure. I understand what it means to be a perfectionist. You don’t want to push the limits in case you push too hard or too far and you slip. You don’t want to lose control. You don’t want to feel that sting of defeat. I have a bad habit of creating a vision and focusing on a singular outcome that I want to manifest. A lesson I have learned as of late? Let go the outcome.
Listen, when you finally DO get that reassurance, when the stars and the planets feel like they have aligned just for YOU, when your soul shakes loose and you feel like your head could explode or you could cry from the joy that has swollen up inside of you? When your entire being is humming just from being alive? Yeah, THAT makes the scary choices worth it. It’s right then, when you DO realize that you are exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you need to be doing that just reaffirms my belief that we should never stop growing, showing up, searching, learning, evolving.
Why am I saying all of this? Because I chose to start. I woke up one day really sick and really tired of the person I had allowed myself to become. I had no ambition, no want for a life well lived. I wanted to be invisible, I wanted to make as little noise as possible. I started to make healthier eating choices. I chose to get sober. After I had my eating under control I started to exercise my body – nothing major, just some walking. You just have to start small, then the reassurance hits, and you want more. I got a promotion, I bought my first home by myself, I started rediscovering and unpacking my passions. I joined a gym, I tried new classes, I challenged myself, I made new friends. I decided to pursue a Master’s degree, I launched this website. Anything you want in this life is yours. Will it be easy? No. Will there be resistance? Of course. Nothing aligned comes without contraction.
All you have to do is show up. Start small. Be brave.
YOU ARE WORTH LIVING A FULFILLED LIFE.